In a world of beautiful scrolling scenes, scripted stories and faces of fame it can be easy to wonder if you somehow missed your mark.

It’s easy to fall into patterns of idly consuming, comparing our successes and failures to others and driving towards dreams that we can no longer identify as our own. Hours ticked by as I scrolled from story to story. What moments did I miss in the time that my head was spent curled down to my phone? Did my kids ask me for that snack or did they help themselves? Berry covered hands, white couch, great. How can someone spend so much time enraptured by a life they aren’t living?

I was diving headfirst into a world that I knew little about and, as always, I wanted to be awesome at it before I even began. A blog? I can do a blog: journal of ideas started. Pictures? I can learn to take pictures: camera purchased. Vlogs? Don’t know a thing about it but, sure: software downloaded, let’s figure this out. I had a mission in mind and a knowledge that I wanted to create something of my own rather than consume so much, yet here I found halfway down the rabbit hole of social media without an ounce of creative energy exerted.

“There are endless resources targeted towards achieving success, teaching us that if you can dream it, you can do it – but you have to first know… whose dream are you trying to live?”

Captured: First attempts to use my new camera and force my husband to take photos of me with the kids.

Besties… maybe?

I began to idolize online personas and take them on as true friends in my mind. I would smirk as they posted things, as if it were an inside joke between just the two of us. I imagined how I could recreate different scenarios and scenes using my newfound gadgets. What started as a dream to create something unique to me quickly morphed into an inauthentic and crappy replica of other people who had found their true, authentic talents.

I decided to let it go. I accepted that the social media world was already full of beautiful stories, endless connection opportunities and creations that exceeded my capabilities. Until I started to talk about the beginning of the end of my not-yet-started venture.

In talking to other people about their experiences on social media, they commented on how much they appreciate the raw, real experiences that I share. They laugh along as I document my disaster days, appreciate the epic meltdowns my kids have mastered and admire that I am not afraid to say what’s on my mind. I realized that to find fulfillment, I do not need to recreate someone else’s dream and draw in followers; I simply need to find an outlet to create something that is for, well, me.

It’s not about them…it’s for us

Hello outlet, here you are. The start of this journey feels rocky, undefined and I am far from sure-footed, but it is also freeing as I let go of everyone else’s dreams and talents. My expectations are not for perfection, my intention not so focused that I withdraw from my waking life, and I am not afraid to write what I have to say or share the amateur photos I have taken (truly they are nothing special) because it is for no one except myself.

I have never been one to do things halfway, sometimes to the detriment of other obligations. As I embark on this journey of finding a creative outlet and using social media as a platform for authenticity and encouraging others to be honest with themselves, I know that this will be an on-going struggle. To help, I’ve created a few guidelines and parameters for myself:

Systems & Processes: I’m an entrepreneur and business analyst by heart (or something). By putting in place clear processes for when and what I plan to share, it gives me a framework to work within so I don’t go haywire and off on (too many) tangents.
Boundaries: When I’m with my kids, I love to snap photos but it’s not the time for photo editing, posting, and shutting myself down from being present. Snap the pic, share later.
Expectations: I am not a professional photographer. I am not a videographer. I am not a writer. But I won’t let that stop me from sharing my photos, videos and stories when they are far from perfect because we are all far from perfect, and that’s pretty awesome.
Accountability: I’m not in this alone. Karli and I continue to hold one another accountable for creating this content, not because we feel we have to, but because we want to. It’s easy to let things slide when they feel awkward, new and vulnerable. Having a partner to help push you outside of your comfort zone is important. I’m sure we will fight about it at some point. Stay tuned.

Maybe we lost you on Day 1. Or maybe you think I’m your new best friend. Either way, I’m glad that you’re here and I hope you’ll continue to follow along as we discover our own dreams and encourage you to explore your own.